This past week I went to see my chemo doctor who explained my next set of treatment. I will be on a completely different set of drugs which can give me a new set of side effects. The side effects of these drugs don’t sound that nice but according to the doctor they have medicine for everything. What this means is that they give you a whole bunch of medicine which I call “just in case”. I am beginning to understand why drug companies are so rich.
I am feeling very tired most days now; which I have been told is one of the larger side effects that they cannot give you medicine for. I find that even for small things like shopping I have to either sum up lots of energy; buy things in small amounts so the trip is quick: or let Bill drive and come with me. I take a sleep during the day most days when I can; which helps a great deal. My body obviously doesn’t take too kindly to be pumped full of poison.
I guess with me being tired most of the time I sometimes struggle with staying positive. The good thing is that Bill knows me so well and can see when I start to feel that I don’t want to bother with things. By just reminding me that it will work out in the end and that everyone we know is praying for us gives me the encouragement that I need. There are days I would just like to sleep all day but I know that is more in my head than in my body so I find good things to do.
I also find that food isn’t really appealing much to me. Bill is being amazing and doing a lot of the cooking at the moment. There are certain foods that appeal to me but as soon as they are cooked I don’t feel hungry and struggle to eat very much and other stuff I cannot stand the smell; especially sea food. Fish is good as it is very light so I can eat more of it. I will be really pleased when chemo has finished and my appetite comes back and I didn’t really think I would ever say that.
I look back at what I have just written and it seems that life isn’t that good at the moment but this isn’t true. When the sun is shining and we can walk outside and see all the new growth I know life is good.
Just before I post this Bill and I have just come back from the cinema with friends seeing “The Kings Speech” Most people in the UK will have seen it already but it takes a while to get here and it takes us even longer to go to the cinema. It was so good to grab something to eat; watch a movie with friends and then have a proper meal afterwards. Life is good when it is normal.
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